Monday, January 23, 2012

MamaBlogger365 - Woot woot! by Shira Adler, Diva Mama

Last night the Giants won the NFC Championship and from the shouts and impromptu dance moves, you would think my honey just watched the birth of his first born, or had front row seats for the Stones at Madison Square Garden.

Yes, we celebrate joys and miracles in our own ways and though I am not an avid football fan (far from it… I even had to ask who was playing), I will say that this weekend was really special. No, not because Eli Manning will now lead his team to their second Super Bowl on his watch, but because I got to sit by and observe my loved ones in pure states of unbridled terror-turned-joy.

Honey is happy, my kids are happy, and that brings me a kind of contentment that I have been lacking lately, and no matter where it came from, it was a welcome counterweight to the pressure I’ve been feeling.

In recent weeks I’ve been experiencing a bit of aimlessness and lack of focus. I have many amazing projects to delve into such as finishing up the sample chapters on my in-progress book, marketing to attract new clients, and rewriting and recording my new voice-over demo.

But somehow I haven’t managed to get any of that done. Worse, I am feeling caught in a never ending spin cycle between wanting to create and needing to complete, and the fear I have of doing neither.

This isn’t an unusual state of mind for a mompreneur, or anyone else who seeks to master their own destiny, create a livelihood for themselves, and support their families. But the burn out factor can be substantial if you get caught up in the “I-didn’t-get-enough-done-today” mindset. At least it has for me.

I look at dwindling bank account numbers and weigh them against increasing expectations that I heap on myself thicker than the fat layered in a Paula Deen sausage pancake egg sandwich.

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