MamaBlogger365 - Creating a Fantastic Relationship with Your Kid at Any Age by Fran Capo

Fran Capo

I’m blessed. My son and I are best friends. People often ask what makes you and your son Spencer so close? So I thought about it, talked to him about it, and here’s what it narrows down to.

To start with, I believe I had the best mom in the world. She was supportive, loving, fun, positive, spiritual, a great listener (that’s probably how I became a fast talker) and taught me nothing was impossible. I could tell her anything. Everyone wanted to adopt my mom as their mom. My mom was a housewife, and although she worked before she had us (I have a sister), when we came along, we were her world. It wasn’t until much later in life, after we were grown, that she worked again and became an assistant teacher.

Okay, so fast forward....

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MamaBlogger365 - On Memory and Motherhood by *Dr Mama* Amber Kinser

This post is about memory. About how critical it is to understanding family life, about how “wrong” it is, about how it differs so sharply from family member to family member. I use to put great stock in my recollections of my childhood. I used to recite narratives about what happened and what people said and who was responsible and even why people did what they did, as if I had any access whatsoever to the why’s of other people’s actions, especially as a child. I used to tell these tales with fair confidence. They were true because I remembered them. But I don’t do that so much anymore. Even when I’m explaining moments from my past to my therapist, I usually mention something about a grain of salt and not quite a grain of faith in my recollections. I don’t know if it’s feeling more and more like a grownup, or if it’s my exposure to my own kids’ narratives that occasion me to tell my tales with reservation, but I’m learning that family memories are a peculiar thing. Read more...

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Photo credit: Antique Garlic by Shari Weinsheimer

MamaBlogger365 - Change, About Me by *Dr Mama* Amber Kinser

There is change about me
flux around me
shifts beneath my feet

Parents get older
daughters move out
sons leave junior high

I busy with details
keep up a momentum of equations
stop myself from stopping to cry
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Photo credit: Which Way? by Mike Coates

MamaBlogger365 - No Mercy by *Dr Mama* Amber Kinser

Motherhood is relentless. It just keeps going and going and going. Incessantly. And on some days, that’s a lovely thing. Like days when I’ve been so sucked dry by the demands at work, or the intensity of maintaining partner relationships, or the callous and inexorable neediness of home ownership (don’t make me bring up our new water damage issue, fresh for the month of February —- a little Valentine’s present from the universe to our house; just read my December post “If By ‘Serene’ You Mean…” and add to it images of an upstairs leaking toilet, boxes of waterlogged keepsakes in the basement, and a downstairs guestroom with squishy carpet where my parents will be staying this week (since my house chooses to leak especially when my parents are coming to visit)).

Like days when things are tanking but my children make me laugh by teaming up to do their “booty dance” all over me; or one of them sits next to me, in quietude, while we watch a television show; or one wraps me in a sweet embrace that lingers for a moment or two. And they do all of this because I am their mother and they do love their mother. On these days, and there are lots of them, the ways that motherhood is unrelenting can be an oasis in the middle of the spiritually desert-like conditions that surround me. But there are other days. And lots of them, too... read more

MamaBlogger365 - Touchstone by Michelle Kennedy

Although I've been sick with the flu for days, when my daughter called and said she was coming home from college for the night, I told her I was thrilled. Her friend was coming too? Great! Now, between you and me, the last thing I really wanted was anyone around. I forced myself to go to work the last few days and I was utterly exhausted. But one lesson my car accident taught me was never to waste the moment, so yes, was my answer, and I truly meant it.

Getting used to a new relationship with a child takes a lot of emotional adjustment. Knowing that my baby will never live full-time with me again took months to get comfortable with. She and I get along so well, it's rare that we argue, and honestly, we truly enjoy each other's company. We simply knew how to co-exist peacefully and happily. But she grew up, moved on and I had to either come to terms with it or go insane. I could choose to sit and weep over her childhood photos or accept the fact that my beautiful child was now a beautiful young woman. I choose acceptance, although my heart still wrenches over the choice, on occasion. I find I have to hold back a lot, keep my selfish thoughts to myself and let her find her way in the world.... read more