MamaBlogger365: What Are You Doing with YOUR Second Life? by Kelli Stapleton

I know I’m not the only one who likes to stroll through a cemetery on a nice day. There is one by my house that is on rolling hills and partially in the woods. The monuments are old, and the buildings have iron doors with big hinges. It feels very historical and lovely. Let me pause to just tell you that I am in NO way “sensitive” to spirits. I never have and DO NOT see dead people. For me, it’s just a lovely place to ponder those who have passed.

On one of the first warm days of spring last year, I was walking through the cemetery with my friend Tiffany. She was pointing out all of the people who had died in their thirties and forties. I suppose that wasn’t entirely uncommon at the turn of the century (last century, that is). She then mentioned that she thinks of her age (30+) as her second life because so many of these people only had one life and it ended early.

WOW!

She is exactly right. Historically it’s been rare for someone to live to be 100 years old. Just before 1900, the life expectancy was just under forty for both men and women. Okay, so I’m living MY second life. I’m living a life that many of those good people in the cemetery may have wished they had the opportunity to live.

I was literally awake an entire night pondering this. Not just for me, but for all of us. Those who are my age-ish are all working on their second lives. So what does that mean? Here are some of my thoughts…

• You may be an entirely different person in your second life than you were in your first life.
• You’re first life relationships may be incompatible with your second life.
• Your second life may bring a career change.
• Your second life may bring a change in your marriage status.
• Your second life may be defined by new goals.
• You may want to start a new family.
• You may want to take on new educational endeavors.
• You may want to sell all of your earthly possessions and sail the world.
• Second life is an opportunity to be more altruistic, generous, and awesome.
• Your second life is a gift.

So let me talk about parenting for a minute. For the most part, parenting is a first-life endeavor. It also is a brief one. Brief in the terms that it’s only eighteen years-ish of real ‘hands-on’ work. I wish the older, wiser, second-life me could go back and help first-life me but in all honesty, first-life me did a pretty good job.

I’ve learned a few parenting lessons along the way. My daughter is disabled by autism. I will continue to care for her through my second life but maybe I can offer some support to the first-life mothers who are struggling with autism.

Second-life me is going to be an awesome grandparent. With expectations of good health, I hope to help my children with their children. And I should! “Parent” is one title that transfers over to second life.

I hope this resonates with some of you. If it does, please comment and let me know your thoughts.

Best Wishes!

Kelli Stapleton

Producer/Host
Birth Stories on Demand
www.birthstoriesondemand.com



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MamaBlogger365 - Tunes as a Tool by Kelli Stapleton

I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that music is the most powerful force on the planet. Well, maybe there are other forces that are stronger, but let me just make the point: there is power in music. Music can incite _________ (insert almost any verb here).

Of course we all know this! Who hasn’t been in a foul mood and have it change instantly when we hear our favorite song? Conversely, who hasn’t had a broken heart and listen to sad music so we wouldn’t feel so alone? And by the way, have you seen what music does to teenagers?!

I’m not EVEN going to go into the children’s music genre. Gosh, I could write a whole post on how much my kids and I will love a song the first babillion times we hear it and then how I’m OVER it and wanna take an ice pick to the base of my skull the next babillion times. Ah, the joys of parenthood ….

In keeping with the theme of MamaBlogger 365 and reframing motherhood; I wanted to share an important tool with you: Music

The walk-out song

In American baseball when a player is introduced, he takes the field while music blares over the loud speakers. Each player picks his own song, and the clip within the song. This is called his ‘walk-out song’. This song will (hopefully) generate feeling of empowerment, fun, and success for the player and fans.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

Yes, find your own walk-out song!

Part with that $.99 and download something that will make you feel invincible. Play it before you head to a meeting, dissertation, or playgroup. Or just play it when you’ve had an all-nighter with a sick baby.

Then take it a step further and make a ‘walk-out song’ list. And while you’re at it, make a list of songs that make you laugh. Make a list of songs that make you feel strong. Make a list of songs that make you feel beautiful. And then make a point of using those songs as a tool for when you need them.

Music can change a mood.

Music can change a moment.

Add this tool to your tool belt sisters and hopefully it will make this motherhood journey a little easier.

Kelli Stapleton
Producer/Host of the talk show: Birth Stories on Demand
www.birthstoriesondemand.com
Mother, wife, heavy Diet Coke user

Photo credit: gracey|MorgueFile

Support MamaBlogger365 and help the Museum of Motherhood secure a permanent home in 2011! Your tax-deductible donation in ANY amount will help us make our autumn POP-UP exhibit in NYC a permanent reality - visit our Members page to learn more.




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NOW OPEN in NYC - Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30

MamaBlogger365 - Mommy Fail Moments, Continued by Kelli Stapleton

We all have them, those mommy fail moments. We look away for a split second, blink, or sleep and disaster strikes. Hopefully we can laugh at ourselves and move on. Inviting others to laugh at our moments unites us in the sisterhood of mothering.

You may remember last month’s blog submission regarding mommy fail moments where I compiled a list of the worst items found in your baby’s mouth. Well, as promised I have a list of the worst items found in your baby’s diaper. Read with extreme caution...

Click here to read more!

Support MamaBlogger365 and help the Museum of Motherhood secure a permanent home in 2011! Your tax-deductible donation in ANY amount will help us make our September POP-UP exhibit in NYC a permanent reality - visit our Members page to learn more.

Photo credit: "Magdalenas toes 1" by e_v_e_l_i_n_e

MamaBlogger365 - Mommy Fail Moments by Kelli Stapleton

I remember distinctly being at the beach with my 10-month-old daughter. I was spreading out the blanket and organizing our little beach space when I looked up and saw her reaching for a very small, but definitely dead, fish. Now, let me remind you that at 10 months old, babies like to put things in their mouth. And by “things” I mean EVERYTHING. My daughter was no exception. I watched in horror as she grasped the fish and with lightening fast speed, had it in her mouth.

IN HER MOUTH!

Click here to read more...

Support MamaBlogger365 and help the Museum of Motherhood secure a permanent home in 2011! Your tax-deductible donation in ANY amount will help us make our September POP-UP exhibit in NYC a permanent reality - visit our Members page to learn more.

Photo credit: The Appeal of Dirty by Tangle_eye