MamaBlogger365 - Kachooz Ka-What? by Loren Christie

Imagine you blow your nose and someone puts a plastic face on the tissue and sells it as a toy. The next thing you know, your 6 year-old daughter wants one for Christmas. This year, the “elves” (toy manufacturers located somewhere in China) are laughing their Kachooz off at American parents. What’s a Kachooz, you ask? That’s the name of a new species of dysfunctional pencil toppers, described above, that just happen to be one of the most requested toys this holiday season.

“But Mommy, Kachooz are separated from their moops. You have to collect them all so they can be together,” my daughter told me, completely unaware of the marketing “cookie” lodged in her brain, a result of television exposure.

“What's a moop?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that, Mama. Santa knows. Just give him my list,” she said, stuffing it in my purse.

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MamaBlogger365 - United in Stubbornness by Loren Christie

When my husband and I were engaged people gave me a lot of advice.

In 1999, three days before my wedding, a friend helpfully warned me about the pitfalls of marriage in a hushed tone. We were sitting at table tucked in a dark corner at the Half Penny Pub in Bay Shore.

"You know those things about him you absolutely love, those little 'quirks?' After you're married you will hate those things," she whispered.

I cringed, listing my husband’s quirks in my head, and my own, for that matter, because they are frighteningly similar. The worst one is his stubbornness. We are exactly matched in this area. Sometimes this shared trait is a very powerful asset, IF we're on the same team, so to speak. However, if we are fighting, well, then it makes for a very ugly encounter. (I'm talking Star Wars battle-caliber face-offs over the most ridiculous things.) Usually, I win (because he is kinder than I and apologizes like a sorry puppy). Sometimes, I just give up out of pure exhaustion. Then there are days when I use his stubbornness against him to manipulate him into doing me a favor. Some people think that’s cruel. I respectfully disagree; it’s genius.

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Photo credit: boom|MorgueFile

MamaBlogger365 - Sometimes Heroes Come in Small Packages by Loren Christie

The one risky thing about having children is that they can rip your heart out in an instant like no one else can. Luckily, most people don’t think of this when they decide they want to have kids.

It was supposed to be JUST a stomach virus. After all, I thought I had one the previous weekend. His symptoms were the same as mine had been: nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain, except he had a 101.7 fever as well. My illness lasted about four hours. His started Saturday and was still going strong on Monday morning.

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Photo credit: Stethoscope by Kim Newberg

MamaBlogger365 - Not Exactly Upper Crust by Loren Christie

Start out with nothing to do and a day off on Long Island and you may find yourself where you don’t belong. For my husband and I, that means we spent the day on a "date" in the Hamptons. What better place to do what we love to do best in public when the kids aren't with us: look around at people nearby and imagine what they are saying to one another? I thought we were the only ones on Earth who did this for laughs until I saw the movie Date Night.

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MamaBlogger365 - I Was Surrounded by Tigers and I Liked It by Loren Christie

I’m beginning to consider myself the Crocodile Hunter of the local weekly newspapers. Last week I covered a pet parade where I got a chance to photograph two Basset Hounds dressed for a tea party and a snake who won a prize for the length of his tongue.

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MamaBlogger365 - Celebrating Independence by Loren Christie

In light of all the graduations this month and the upcoming Fourth of July holiday, I think Katy Perry's lyrics to her song "Firework" would make the greatest valedictorian speech. Be true to yourself and be brave -- what an awesome message. Click here to read more.

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Photo credit: Fireworks by Petr Kratochvil

MamaBlogger365 - Not Even Credit Card Theft Can Stop PrincessFest 2011 by Loren Christie

Who says being a mom doesn't mean you don't get to live a dramatic life of intrigue and adventure?

Yesterday while I was eating my Nacho Grande from Taco Bell and finishing the police blotters for the local weekly newspaper, my debit card had somehow cloned itself and was in the hands of a bad, unknown shopper in Manhattan who was having a blast at my expense. Fast forward to that evening, when I was standing in the pasta aisle at the grocery store buying dinner and answering a cell phone call at the same time, oblivious to the fact that my account was now frozen by the bank, whose security agency tracked the unusual activity and blocked me after not being able to reach me at home to verify the purchases. It was my husband calling to tell me I'd been monetarily violated.

Obviously I was upset; who wouldn't be? I found myself mentally rewinding all the purchases I've made this month, wondering if there was a camera over the gas pump, or if someone behind me on a line had watched me swipe my card and memorized the numbers. I'll never know how my debit card number was compromised, which is what's so unsettling about an experience like this. Besides being upset, I had a million things to do in preparation for the next day, which was scheduled to be "The Best Princess Birthday Tea Party Ever." Read more...

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Photo credit: mzacha

MamaBlogger365 - Remote Control Wars by Loren Christie

All mothering and no fun is, well, no fun. It's spring break at Mamazina contributor Loren Christie's house -- let's take a look:

My husband, an educator by trade, is home from work for spring recess and that means we’ll be renting a whole week of Redbox movies. Should I be excited? Yes. Am I? No.

Here's why: Guess who picks out the movies while I’m at work? Last night I had to endure Body of Lies. It's not that I don't like Leonardo DiCaprio films. I liked him in Gangs of New York, and I can't wait to see Inception. I thought he was great in Romeo and Juliet and Titanic. However, do I like watching him get his fingers smashed with a hammer by terrorists?

Picture me not finding that entertaining. After about five minutes of hearing the actor scream and covering my eyes... read more

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Photo credit: Tv Controller by Anna Cervova

MamaBlogger365 - Calgon, Take Me to Work Please! by Loren Elizabeth Christie

A day in the life of a busy mom, including a juggling act of the roles of nurse, chef, journalist, and chief negotiator:

My two boys have the flu and today I had to do my reporting for the local papers from home. Working from home is so much harder than being in the office. Try writing four articles with sick little boys running around. While I was making their lunch they ransacked my desk, took my collection of business cards out of my bag and used them in a game they called "snowing." I thought the flu supposedly knocked kids out, so why were mine racing around my dining room table all day? read more

MamaBlogger365: Speaking From the Heart by Loren Christie

“If there is any responsibility in the cycle of life it must be that one generation owes to the next that strength by which it can come to face ultimate concerns in its own way.”
--Erik Erikson

Princess came home with a Kindergarten class list today and sat down at the table ready to make Valentine’s Day cards. Two hours passed and she had 19 cards done.

“But there are 20 kids on this list,” I said, recounting them.

Princess frowned, crossed her arms and said, “I’m not making one for Lenny."

“You can’t do that. You made cards for everyone else,” I said. Then, realizing something was wrong by the look on her face, I bent down to her level.

“Why don’t you like Lenny?” I asked her.

Princess burst into tears... keep reading.